Love Thy Neighbor
by Vaudeville
Summary: Love thy neighbor as thyself... Can the love of another bring peace to the heart of a man who has gone so long without it? Can she bring him to love himself in turn? Rewritten as Into the Heart of Darkness.
1. Chapter 1

Update: 1/2/2010

I haven't forgotten about this fic. Just... Distracted and slightly less interested in it than I used to be. I will return to it thought when I get time. Cheers!

* * *

Madelyn awoke with a jolt. _What was that?_ She laid still, listening for any sounds beyond her own shaky breathing. The air was still and all was silent as she glanced wildly around the room, searching for the cause of her arousal. Something wasn't right. She could feel it. She stood silently and moved to her closed door. She listened, anticipating, _praying_ for the sounds of little feet padding through the hallway. Then she heard it again: heavy footsteps outside her doorway, moving quietly down the hall to Lily's room. _No! _

She flung herself back to the bed, diving under her mattress for the loaded pistol that awaited her. Her heart pounded in hear ears, her breathing frantic and her fingers fumbling to switch off the safety. She never thought she would have to use this. In fact, Adrian had assured her that she never would. Not in this neighborhood. Not in_ his _apartment complex. He had promised her. She swiped tears away from her face, furious and terrified that she once again found herself in a situation that she was completely without control, even behind the trigger of a gun.

She tiptoed towards her bedroom door and opened it slowly, thanking whatever gods existed that it didn't make a sound. Trying desperately to steady her trembling hands, she looked both ways down the hall. There was nothing but... Lily's bedroom door was open, which made her heart drop to her feet in fear. She felt her breath hitch in a silent sob as she inched her way down the hall. She listened intently for anything that would give away the intruder. She turned into Lily's room, swinging the gun around furiously, ready to fire into the shadows. But there was nothing. He, whoever he was, was gone... _No, no he isn't, _she told herself. She could still feel him, somewhere in the apartment.

Against her better judgment, she left Lily alone and went off to search the rest of the flat. She passed by the kitchen and then made her way to the living room, finding nothing. She stood in the dining room, helplessly fingering the rough grip of the pistol, trying to recount what she had heard. Had she dreamed it? She could hardly remember what she had been dreaming about now in her groggy state. Was it all in her head? More dimmed memories of harsher times cropping back up to haunt her? It was funny, she felt less secure now than she had then. She took a deep breath, the first one she had allowed herself in what seemed like hours, and let it out. _It'll all be okay_, her mind echoed, just as it had back then, back when--

A hand reached around from behind her and snatched the gun out of her loose grip. Her eyes grew wide, her scream silenced by the large rough hand that clamped over her mouth, pulling her hard against the chest that belonged to her assailant. She thrashed wildly, trying to break free but was quickly restrained by another firm arm, crushing the air right out of her. "Shhh!" a low voice growled in her ear. She screamed again, unheard, and the voice commanded a little bit softer, "It's me, Maddie. Shhh..." And then he let her go.

She whipped around to face her attacker, stumbling back into the kitchen, reaching for something else to use to defend herself with. His words didn't register as the only thing her mind could comprehend was, _I have to protect Lily! I have to protect Lily!_ She nearly screamed bloody murder again when she saw him move back to the hallway, but when he reach out to turn on the light, she stopped, frozen to the spot. His form was silhouetted by the light behind him, illuminating his features just enough to be seen. Madelyn dropped the phone book that she had been about to hurl at him, recognizing him but not believing it. Tendrils of bright red hair framed a pale gaunt face that she knew all too well. His solemn blue eyes caught in the light as he glanced toward her.

"Oh, my god," she cried breathlessly. "Rorschach!" And without a moment's hesitation, she rushed into his open arms.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two years previously..._

Rorschach pushed the door open with his shoulder, staring down into his carton of carry-out Chinese food. He scraped the flimsy paper sides with the chopsticks that were poised between his fingers, raising a bundle of lo mein to his lips. He stuffed his mouth and dropped the sticks into the carton, reaching out for the sign that he had left leaning against the wall outside of the diner. He paused, staring down at the little girl who was knelt down before it. She had a handful of grime and was making little prints of her fingers all over the off-white of the board. "Hurm," he grunted loudly, pleased when the little angel looked up and ran off with a giggle. He watched after her, eyes following the long wave of red hair, much like his own, chase after her in the wind. The corners of his mouth turned up lightly.

He stuffed more food into his cheeks, finishing off the carton and tossing it away as he lifted the sign to his shoulder. He turned, chewing, and looked around for Lily. That's what she had told him her name was. Her mother was a waitress here. They had just moved in down the hall of his apartment building about a month ago. He had seen the mother around a few times and had yet to encounter the woman himself, but that was quite alright with him. As far as he was concerned, she was just another woman, another single mother bring up a bastard child in this terrible world of theirs. Still, Rorschach enjoyed that little one's giggle. He had always liked small children. Their innocence and naivety. Their immunity to corruptibility. Rorschach saw the bright green eyes and dimpled smile appear from behind a table. He took a step into the street, watching her all the while, not turning away until she waved goodbye to him.

---

_Rorschach's Journal. August 12th, 1979:_

Rorschach looked up as a little boy took his fedora and put it on his head. It covered his eyes and ears, leaving only a toothless grin and a dirt smudged chin to be seen. Rorschach smiled softly, reaching up to tilt the hat back on the boy's head so he could see. "Don't lose that. Want it back when I leave," he warned softly, and the little boy nodded.

"Watcha writin', Mister?" the little runt asked, stepping around and leaning over Rorschach's shoulder to see what was written in his journal. Rorschach looked up at him, frowning softly, the fluid swirls of the mask following the movement. The kid probably couldn't read what he had written anyway, but he closed his journal and put it in a pocket of his trench coat, then stood up and took his fedora back from the boy.

"Stay out of trouble," he warned gruffly to the children sitting in the alleyway. They all spoke at once, but managed a thank you or two, and a goodbye.  
_  
Exercise interrupted today. Found alleyway full of starving children. Brought them food. Stayed with them for an hour. No parents. _

He paused in his writing, unsure of what to write next.

_Felt good to feed them. Perhaps they will grow up one day to be good men and women, like my father and President Truman. Wonder if they have a role model like that. Someone or something they can hold onto when they can't sleep at night. Can only hope they live long enough to see more than the diseased gutters and slums of the world._

He reached up to scratch behind his ear with the butt of his pencil, his jaw clenching tightly as he began to write again.

_Girl that lives down the hall from me, Lily. Looks skinny, like these children. Wonder if her mother is feeding her. Wonder if she's starving her. Will investigate later. Going to Happy Harry's._

---

Madelyn sighed as she looked up from her job application. She sat on the steps of the side exit of the apartment building, a pile of papers on her lap. She had no resume to speak of, no connections, no real skills that were worth listing. She didn't know if she could keep doing this, fighting for job after job after job, always making just enough to survive, and just a bit too much to get federal help. Since the Food Stamp Act had been established in '77, she was apparently no longer eligible to live. She covered her face with her hands and rubbed her eyes. She'd have to figure out where the local soup kitchen was. Lily was looking paler and thinner by the day, and Madelyn wouldn't eat until she did.

_Where's Lily, _her mind prodded, reminding her, _Don't lose sight of her. _Madelyn glanced around the decrepit playground, consisting of little more than a few broken swings, a muddy slide and a rusty jungle gym. The place screamed of tetanus infection and it made her cringe to imagine Lily playing in it, but she didn't have much else to amuse the little girl with, and Lily was still at such a young age that everything made her happy.

Lily was not playing as Madelyn had expected, but standing with the man that lived down the hall from them. Rorschach peered down at the little girl, as he sat on the bench. He opened up the carry-out box he had brought with him and retrieved a plastic fork from a bag in his pocket. Lily watched him as he dug into the food, her hands on his knees as she stretched her little neck to look over the top. Rorschach noted how small she was. She couldn't be more than three or four... But then again, he was terrible at judging such things. He took a bite of spaghetti, cutting up the remaining noodles as he slurped one long stray up between his lips. He got sauce on his chin, leaving it there, smiling softly when the little girl giggled. He took another bite, peering at her, observing how her eyes watched his every move, then fell back to the plate of food. The poor little thing _was_ starving after all. He wiped the fork clean on his pant leg and handed it to her. "Go ahead. Have some."

"No!" Madelyn thundered as she ran over to them. She picked Lily up and plucked the fork from her fingers to drop back into their neighbor's lap. "What did I tell you about taking things from strangers, baby?" She turned her eyes on Rorschach, shifting her body away as if to put herself between Lily and the derelict before her. "Who do you think you are?" she snarled. _How dare he! _she fumed. There were some sick people in this world who did some sick things. Child molesters, kidnappers, rapists... Madelyn wasn't about to subject Lily to that poison.

Rorschach stared up at her, not saying anything for a moment. He hadn't yet spoken to her, only exchanged awkward glances with her in their apartment hallway. He didn't like her already. She wasn't feeding her daughter. No child should be treated with such disregard, never so abused. His eyes narrowed. He'd felt her eyes on him when he talked to Lily, looking at him, watching him closely, pretending to looking past him when he met her stare. Now, Madelyn held his gaze, firmly at first, growing more uneasy by the moment, until she finally turned away. Then he spoke. "She's hungry. Don't want her to eat?" He watched as Madelyn paused in the step she had begun to take away from him. She looked down at her filthy shoes, then to the girl in her arms.

Madelyn slowly looked back at Rorschach, frowning as he slowly took a bite of the the spaghetti, taking his time, proving that there was so foul play going on, enticing her even. She let Lily down and nodded. "Alright," she whispered softly. She couldn't believe she was allowing this, but Lily needed to eat, and she couldn't seem to afford anything substantially filling at the moment. "Go ahead, baby," she cooed, combing her fingers through the girl's bright red hair. She sat on the bench as Lily crawled onto it, watching Rorschach carefully as he handed the plate of spaghetti over to her. "Thank you," she whispered.

He nodded without looking at her, folding his hands and watching the little girl make a mess of herself as she ate. After a few moments of silence, Rorschach stood and walked across the small playground to the gate. He picked up his sign and hoisted it up to his shoulder, glancing back before walking off. Lily waved. Madelyn stared.

---

"Don't tell your mommy," Rorschach whispered conspiratorially to the little girl as he handed her a sugar cube. They both glanced over to Madelyn who was looking pointedly at them. She watched the two of them carefully every time they interacted. She wasn't complaining much. Free food for Lily-- and herself as well, since she got to eat what Lily didn't finish-- and a bit of a break for her from her busy day. She didn't like it, that this strange man was taking better care of them than she was able, nor that he seemed so absolutely enthralled by Lily and visa versa. She had wondered if he was a pedophile at first, but... He never touched Lily and was never alone with her. Ever.

Rorschach had been bringing Lily lunch for two months now, several times a week, even though Madelyn was working again and was able to put food on the table. He never seemed to expect more than the pleasure of making sure that Lily was well fed. He never spoke to Madelyn if he could help it. If Madelyn's intuition was right, there was definitely something wrong with that man, but the more she observed him, the less she believed it was because of some sick sexual attraction to Lily. It had to be something else. She waved back at them with a smile, returning to her newspaper.

"My mommy is dead," Lily replied. She said it with the detached attitude of one who doesn't truly know the meaning of what they are saying, like she'd heard it a thousand times and was just parroting back words that meant nothing to her. She fumbled with the wrapper on the sugar cube. Rorschach looked up at Madelyn again. _Not her mother?_ "So's my daddy. So Aunt Maddie takes care of me. Aww!" she cried as she dropped the sugar cube. She knelt down to pick it up, but Rorschach stopped her, taking another cube out of his pocket and unwrapping it for her.

The littler redhead must have been too young to remember her real parents, or two young to understand the sting of losing them. Rorschach smirked softly and watched as Lily threw her arms up in the air, showing Madelyn the sugar cube with mischievious pride and popping it in her mouth. Rorschach looked at Madelyn as well, merely blinking when she smiled at him. So, Lily wasn't really hers. She was only looking after her. _How... Noble._


	3. Chapter 3

Madelyn pushed off of Rorschach's shoulder, just enough to look up at him, blinking the tears from her eyes. "Jesus Christ! You nearly scared me half to death." She cupped his cheek and smiled sadly at him, unbelievably happy to see that her intruder had his same blue eyes and crimson red hair. She felt his jaw clench beneath her touch and fell back into his embrace again. She pressed herself firmly into his chest, listening to his heart beat and his voice rumble in her ear.

"You had a gun," he replied, as if pointing out the obvious would justifying his actions. "Didn't want to get shot." He held her tightly for a moment then let her go, taking a step back.

"What are you doing here?" She followed his movement, not letting him move too far away, holding the lapels of his jacket, unwilling to break that needed contact. "They keep talking about you on the news. I watch it every night. I'm so scared that you'll turn up dead and that we'll never see you again."

Rorschach tilted his head slightly, his lips forming a slight smirk, almost unnoticeable, but she saw it. "Fine," he says softly, patting her hand over his chest as if for emphasis. "Still in one piece."

"What are you doing here, Rorschach?" Madelyn asked again gently, flicking away a speck of dirt from his soiled shirt. He didn't look as if he were in pain, so he probably didn't need to be stitched up. It wouldn't surprise her if he was running from the cops and needed a place to stay. But she hadn't heard anything on the news about him that night, nor did he have his face or the usual ensemble on. He wasn't 'on the job' at all. He didn't look rushed or stressed. He just looked... Normal. As normal as Rorschach could be.

"Need a hair cut," he answered simply, grimacing and smiling alternately when she laughed. He anticipated the words that followed, that he never _was_ able to cut his hair properly on his own. He tilted his head down so that Madelyn could muss the wild red curls with her fingers, reenacting the same scene that they had played out several times in the past.

"It's three in the morning and you're sneaking around my apartment because you want a haircut?"

"Wasn't sneaking. Not til I saw you were armed, at least. And, yes," he replied indignantly, standing to his full height. It was almost playful, his response.

Madelyn gave him that look, the one that said she knew he was lying, but she said nothing as she moved to the kitchen. "Want some coffee?"

"No," he replied, following her. He stood next to the table, wincing as she turned the lights on, his eyes used hours of darkness, stinging in the white light of her kitchen. He removed his gloves and tossed them on the table, watching her movement as she got a glass of milk instead. "Wanted to check on you too," he said finally.

Madelyn allowed herself to smile softly, her back to him. He didn't have to say it. She would have let him get away with the haircut excuse. But it was important to him. Everything he ever said was important.

"Lily okay?"

She turned to face him. "She's great. She's in school now," she swallowed a gulp of milk, sighing amidst the all-too-familiar silence. Rorschach rarely asked her about herself. He rarely said much of anything unless it had to do with Lily. Madelyn was used to it, but even after all the years they'd known each other, it still hurt a little bit. She had struggled to remind herself countless times that he _did_ actually care, but... "How are you? How's... things?" she asked finally, interrupting their silence.

"Dandy," he replied curtly.

She nodded. She didn't really want or need to know. She knew what he was up to. She knew that things hadn't changed and that they probably never would. He was who he was and she didn't expect anything more or less of him.

Rorschach stepped toward her as she yawned. "You're tired. Should start on the hair cut...?" His tone lifted a little at the end, both a request and a question. He bit his tongue, perhaps speaking too quickly. Too eagerly. He didn't want her to go to sleep. It had been too long since he had seen her. He searched his thoughts, trying to form some excuse to keep her with him, all the while keeping a blank expression.

Madelyn finished her milk and rinsed out the glass before setting it in the sink. "I don't think I have the energy to do it tonight, Rorschach." Her stomach jumped when she saw him lower his eyes, catching just a hint of the emotion he hid so well. "Look, why don't you stay over?" His eyes flit frantically over her face, his lips parting to tell her 'no,' but she quickly added: "I'll make breakfast in the morning and cut your hair. Lily would love to see you too, I'm sure. She still talks about you all the time."

Rorschach hesitated, his jaw clenched tight. This wasn't what he wanted. The haircut was merely one excuse built upon foundations. Nevertheless, he wasn't prepared to hand over his will and trust so easily. To allow himself to be vulnerable in a way that he hadn't been for years. _Don't be an idiot. You know you can trust her._ He looked up again when she touched his arm.

"Come on. I have a fold out sofa and you could use a shower." Madelyn bit her lip when he frowned at her, glared even, but she didn't apologize. "And I'll wash your clothes tonight too. I've probably got some sweatpants that you can wear. And a t-shirt."

"Alright," he conceded finally, allowing her to lead him back to the living room.

---

Rorschach sighed in his sleep, shifting slightly, halting as he felt something warm and heavy against him. His eyes snapped open suddenly, enraged, ready to throttle whoever dared to invade his space so completely. But it was no foe. Quite the opposite in fact. He looked down slowly, squinting in the dim morning light, pressing a soft kiss against a crown of ruby red hair. Lily was tucked snugly into his side, held securely in place by his own arm. Her head lay on his chest and she sucked her thumb, her index finger hooked over the tip of her nose. Nothing had changed.

His eyes moved past her to Madelyn's worn, tired face. Her eyes were closed, lids fallen over brown irises. Her blond hair was tied loosely in a ponytail, wisps falling about her temple. Her breathing was heavy and deep; he could feel it against his arm, as her forehead rested gently against his shoulder. He had gone to bed alone. Lily and Madelyn must have joined him sometime in the night, their two slender forms pressed close to his as the three of them slept on the small roll-away bed. Rorschach felt himself smile softly, sighing.

Madelyn shifted, her eyes squeezing tight, turning away from the stray sun beams that threatened to wake her fully. She opened her eyes slowly to find Lily still pressed closely between she and Rorschach. She looked up at him to find his eyes open and fixed on some point beyond her view. She took a deep breath and he brought his stare away from the freckles that lined her arm to meet her gaze.

"Morning," she whispered, her lips brushing against his arm as she spoke.

She looked down at the little girl between them and then back up to him again. She started, about to explain how they had all come to be in this position. She'd gotten up a few hours ago to use the bathroom and to see if he was still there, and found instead that Lily had crawled into bed with him. The reasoning seemed irrelevant and quickly died away as she looked back to him. His eyes were closed and his lips were pressed in a fine line. She smiled. He didn't mind. He could pretend to protest, but if he really wanted to be alone, he wouldn't be there at all, or she and Lily would've been tossed to the floor already. She knew he didn't mind. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, resolving to try to sleep again.

"She got big," Rorschach rasped, willing his voice to work. His throat was dry, and it took a good amount of effort to make his words audible at a whisper.

They looked at each other. "What did you expect? It's been... A year since we've seen you," Madelyn whispered back.

"How old is she now?"

"Almost seven."

"Hurm."

Rorschach reached up to stroke Lily's long hair. Madelyn reached out and took his hand in hers, twining their fingers together when he didn't pull away. She closed her eyes and curled further against Lily and Rorschach, resting her chin on his shoulder.

He watched her in the dim morning light and brushed his thumb over her knuckle, allowing himself a small comfort when he saw her smile in response. He stared up at the ceiling, no longer tired, but unwilling to move. Unwilling to change... Well, maybe just a little.


	4. Chapter 4

It occurred to Madelyn that her peculiar neighbor had absolutely no interest in her whatsoever. Neither as a friend, nor as an acquaintance... Nor as a human being for that matter. It seemed, rather, that Walter, whose name she learned from their landlord, was merely condescending to tolerate her for Lily's sake. It amused her somewhat, but confused her far more. What the hell was wrong with him? What sane person acted like that? Still, in the seven months that she and Lily had been living there, he had showed nothing but kindness-- albeit a sort of distracted kindness-- for she and her niece.

Lily absolutely adored him and sought him out constantly during the day, even when her aunt told her that she knew he wasn't home. Madelyn suspected it had something to do with Ben, her brother, Lily's father. Ben had had the same red hair, the same hard eyes as Walter, but Ben's had been green like Lily's. She was too young, though, to remember her father much, the way he smiled and laughed. Walter never laughed. Rarely smiled. Still, it was eerie how much he reminded Madelyn of Ben. She suspected it was the same for Lily.

Madelyn had begun to learn more about him. He didn't work, clean, or shower. That much was obvious, if not by his constantly disheveled appearance, then by the stench of his apartment. He seemed as though he was often busy too. She couldn't imagine what else he might possibly have to do than stand on the street with his sign, collect money from strangers, and drink his misery away like all of the other filthy bums in the city. Yet he never smelled of booze or sex, just cheap cologne, sweat, and mildew, and it seemed that he was always up to something. He was never home in the evenings and she could always count on him rolling out of bed around noon to bring lunch for Lily before he went out on the streets to revere the end of days. What a funny, funny man. Distracted indeed.

Madelyn sighed as she picked through her flat, trying to find the bear that her little niece was sobbing about from the couch. How in the world Lily had become separated from it, she hadn't a clue, as the bear was practically attached to her by the wrist. Nevertheless, she couldn't find it now. She wondered if perhaps they had left it at what's-his-name's, next door. She had convinced Walter to let her wash his dishes for him once a week since he bought Lily lunch on a regular basis. She'd also taken to tidying the rest of his flat, but he pretended not to notice. It was a fair trade. He helped them out, so she helped him out. And in the process, she'd found a spare key to his door that she kept to herself.

After struggling to put Lily down for the night sans Mister Snuggly Bear, Madelyn made her way down the hall. It was late and dark, and he obviously wasn't home, so she didn't bother knocking as she let herself in, switching on the light so she could take a look around. She held her breath as she kicked his dirty socks toward the wall, wondering if the air freshener she had put on his fridge was spent already. It wasn't there, and when she looked, she found it in the garbage. "Impossible man," she muttered, putting it back on top of the fridge and continuing in her pursuit of Lily's favorite stuffed animal.

She found it finally beneath the table in the kitchen. She picked it up and dusted it off, resolving to wash it before giving it back to Lily. As she stood back up, she took a brief look around Walter's flat. She had never before been inside it at her own leisure. She wasn't especially surprised to find that he had no personal effects to speak off. Mostly just the things that he required for survival, little room left over in his cramped apartment for any sort of vanity. Sadly, she knew very little about this strange man except the obvious: his name, what he looked like, and that he preferred sweets, if the scattered sugar cube wrappers were any indication. She shook her head with a smile, mentally noting that she'd have to clean them up next week.

Madelyn moved to leave, tripping over a loose floor board, freeing it from where it was wedged between its neighbors. She stared at it for a moment, curious, before kneeling down to investigate. She looked down into the hole that was carefully cleared in the insulation in the floor. Unlike the rest of Walter's flat, it was remarkably free from clutter and dust, but also empty in the same token. She frowned and shrugged, replacing the board without a second thought, switching off the lights as she left. Maybe it had been a secret hiding spot used by the previous owner. She quickly forgot about it and trudged back to her own flat.

---

Several days later, Madelyn saw him for the first time. Rorschach, the infamous masked vigilante, a heinous criminal and brutal murderer as the police had portrayed him. Madelyn had seen him on her fire escape.

She woke to the sound of Lily's tears coming from their bedroom. Madelyn had fallen asleep on the couch again, reading one of the books she'd picked up at the library the day before. She stood and stretched, stepping in to quiet the little girl's sobs after waking from another nightmare. She had another dream about the fire, one that was too blurred to make much sense to her, but that terrified her nevertheless. She curled up in Madelyn's arms, sucking her thumb, her finger curling over her nose, sighing along to the gentle rhymes of Madelyn's lullabies. She was soon fast asleep. Madelyn was not.

She tucked Lily back in and went out into the living room, then to the kitchen. The stove read that it was 5:44 in the morning, and she wondered if it would be easier to stay up at this point than to try to sleep some more and get up in a few hours when Lily decided it was time to play. Madelyn prepared a pot of coffee and went to the door to grab her coat and shoes. She slipped out into the brisk morning air and walked across the street to the news vendor where she was told that she'd have to wait a few minutes for the morning's paper. She kept a wary eye on the windows that belonged to her bedroom, lest Lily wake while she was out, and waited patiently, looking forward to that warm coffee more and more by the minute. She hated this December weather.

As she tucked her paper under her arm and walked back across the street, Madelyn caught sight of something moving in the alley way. She froze, reaching immediately for the pepper spray she kept hidden in her coat pocket, but she saw nothing more. Then she heard a clank and looked up to the fire escape, a flash of canvas and boot catching her eye. She stared in wonder, watching as a man's figure turned on the fire escape to move to the next level and she caught sight of his mask. She recognized him immediately, dropping her paper as she bolted for her flat. He had stopped on her level, and she had the mace poised and ready in her hand as she burst into her apartment. She went straight for the bedroom first, checking on Lily and triple checking that all the windows in her flat were locked. Then she rushed over to Walter's, nearly pounding his door down.

Rorschach opened it after a few minutes with an irritated grunt, his tired blue eyes ablaze with anger. "What?" he snarled, shocking her. She took a step back, hugging her arms around herself. She had never heard him raise his voice in such a way. It was... frightening, that voice of his. Swallowing her fear, Madelyn stepped forward again, peering into his room as best she could over his shoulder.

"Er... Are-are you okay?" she stammered, muttering the first thing that came to her mind. He looked tired and angry, as if he had just been woken from a dead sleep. His gray trousers were wrinkled, his suspenders hanging around his waist, snagged on the filthy white beater that clung to his form.

"Fine," he replied quickly, moving to shut his door.

Madelyn reached out and grabbed his arm, attempting to stop him, yelping when he yanked his arm away from her touch with a growl.

"Don't," he grunted, his voice low and guttural.

"Sorry, I just... I-I..."

"What?" he asked again, his monotone voice as exasperated as it could ever be.

"I thought I saw... A burglar. I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She watched as he paused, his body tensing, a whole range of emotions flitting through his blue eyes before turning cold again, staring right through her. Madelyn waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "But you're fine. So, er... Okay, well... Night. Sorry."

Rorschach shut the door in her face and Madelyn walked away, feeling frustrated tears rise. What the hell had just happened?

_Rorschach's Journal. December 28th, 1979. 6:15 A.M.:  
_

_Had a close call with neighbor. Saw me on fire escape. Think she saw my face. Came to see if I was alright. Said she saw a burglar. Lied. Could see it in her eyes. Was a close call. Too close. Have to be more careful. Not so reckless. Luckily, had time to change into regular disguise. Thought she was waking me up. Angry. Wanted to hit her. She touched my arm. Never touched me before. Can still feel it. Don't want to.  
_

_Got tip on drug ring in south Bronx. Been trading in this neighborhood...  
_

---

The next day, after work, Madelyn sneaked into Walter's apartment. He hadn't brought Lily lunch that day. He hadn't stopped at the restaurant to say hello. She hadn't seen him all day, except in the distance, lugging his sign around. Madelyn had certainly pissed him off before, but he had never punished Lily for it. Something was wrong. So she went snooping. And she found something.

---

Madelyn probably should have called the cops when she first found her neighbor's little secret, but every time she thought about it, she reminded herself of who she was dealing with here. Walter was her neighbor, her friend... sort of. He had never done anything to hurt them. Quite the opposite, in fact. Also, a mask, trench coat, and pinstriped suit hidden beneath his floorboards were scarcely enough evidence to prove that he was indeed Rorschach. She hadn't seen the costumed avenger in the weeks that followed, and Walter had resumed his daily lunch dates with Lily since then, so maybe she was wrong. Maybe he was just... pretending. Walter didn't seem capable of more than what she already knew of him, much less murder and crime fighting. On the other hand, if he really _was _Rorschach, turning him in could easily be the death of her or Lily, a risk she was not willing to take. So she kept her mouth shut.

Rorschach had begun entering the building from the alleyway opposite the one that he and Madelyn shared, dropping down from the roof, well out of her sight. It was just a few extra minutes out of his way, but in the grand scheme of things, it was worth it. Nothing would have to change. He could still have his cake and eat it too. Even share some with Lily and her nosy aunt. No harm done.

Madelyn was much more on edge now, however, and it was affecting her sleep. She had moved her bed nearer the window and Lily's further into the safer center of the flat, feeling more secure now that she could keep a better eye on the alleyway and fire escape outside, and could insure Lily's safety in the process. Despite all this effort, she still spent most of her nights sleeping in the living room.

She woke late one cold January night to the sound of heavy footfalls outside her apartment. She figured it was Walter, returning from whatever he did in the early hours of the morning-- obviously not fighting crime, of course. Madelyn stretched, twisting and popping her back before shifting to settle into the couch again. _Nothing to worry about,_ she thought. _Just plain ol' Walter.  
_

Then she heard a heavy thud and a groan. She sat up quickly, listening more carefully now to the shuffling outside before moving to her door, peeking through the peep hole. It was Walter alright. He was sweaty, swaying drunkenly and clutching his side. She opened her door an inch to get a better look at him, gasping when she saw the blood on his clothes and his gloved hands, the trail on the floor from the staircase. "Oh, my God," she cried breathlessly, throwing her door open and reaching out to help him.

Rorschach's eyes turned on her, all the blood draining from his features and pooling into his feet. He cursed himself mentally for being so careless that he had to come in the front door, having lost too much blood to be able to hoist himself up the fire escape. He shoved his hand in his pocket, pushing his discarded face further within, cringing away from Madelyn as she put her hands on his shoulder. "Don't," he growled, trying to shrug her hands off of him.

"You're bleeding," she whimpered, her hands slipping down his shoulder to his arm, trying to pull it away from his side so that she could look at his wound. Trench coat, pin stripes, white scarf... Sweaty matted hair, and a rumbled fedora peeking out from inside his jacket. Madelyn swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Let me see, I--"

"No," he grunted, limping toward his own apartment door. "Fine. I'm fine," he slurred.

"Rorschach," she whispered, following, her heart racing when he stopped, his body stiffening like a board. She could feel the rage rise off of him like steam. She reached out, trying to pull him around to face her. "Let me help y-- ulg!"

Madelyn choked, her feet kicking helplessly at his body, for any traction, the ground a foot below her, her hands swiping viciously at the death grip around her throat. Her world spun as Rorschach shoved her head into the wall, but her vision focused on his blazing eyes, his red hot face, screwed up in pain and anger. "Tell a soul and I'll kill you. Understand?"

Her eyes bulged and she tried to scream, nearly passing out before he dropped her sputtering to the floor. She stared at his feet, the pool of blood she now lay in, his blood, watching it drip from his boots as he limped away. She couldn't move, sobbing and gasping for air as she was, thinking she must certainly be dead. Her body jolted when she heard him crash into his own apartment. As soon as she was able, she crawled back into the sanctuary of her home, into the bathroom, spending the next several hours washing the blood from her hair and face, trying to hide the bruises on her neck.

---

Madelyn cleared her throat and tightened her hold on Lily's hand. "Go ahead and knock, baby," she instructed, watching as the little girl did as she was told. Walter... Or... Rorschach... Whatever-- whoever he was, hadn't been around lately and Lily had been absolutely insistent upon seeing him. Madelyn had put off any further encounters with him for the last several days, but Lily's urgency was grating on her already frazzled nerves. So together, she and Lily made cookies, and stood in front of his door, waiting for him to answer.

Lily knocked twice before Rorschach opened. He saw Madelyn first and immediately shut the door, but when Lily started to cry he opened it again. He started as Lily rushed for him, clinging to his leg. He'd never made her cry before and the sound absolutely broke his heart. He knelt down and he took the little girl into his arms. "Don't cry, Lulu," he whispered into her ruby hair, picking her up and staring pointedly at Madelyn. She smiled sadly, pleading with him silently, holding up a tray of cookies for him.

The little girl wiped her tear covered face against the fabric on Rorschach's chest. "We made your favorite cookies," Lily pouted from her perch, adding a sniffled: "Choco chip."

"Thank you," he told Lily after a delayed moment, never taking his eyes away from Madelyn. Neither of them flinched, each standing their ground in the stare down. He took one of the cookies and broke off a piece, handing it to Lily, who ate it. Madelyn seemed unfazed. She must not have poisoned them then as he had certainly expected, and he knew better than to suspect she simply didn't care. So he ate the rest of the cookie and stepped back, further into his apartment, allowing her entrance, shutting the door behind them.

---

Hours later, in her own apartment, Madelyn finished washing the dishes, taking a few side glances at the man who stood nearby, leaning against her kitchen counter, watching her in turn. Lily was asleep on the couch and had been for a while, after a day making up for lost time with her favorite playmate. Rorschach had been tense, on edge the entire day, expecting the worst, ready to flee at any moment. Madelyn could see it, his apprehension, even now as he watched her put the dishes in the cupboard.

"I'm so sorry," Maddie said at last, looking over at him. "I... I wont tell anyone, Walter, and I--"

"Don't call me that," Rorschach interrupted roughly, stepping toward her, hesitating when she cringed away. "Not going to hurt you. Just want to see," he motioned to where she had her turtleneck skillfully covering her purple and green bruises. She peeled it down, turning her face away as he approached.

"W-what am I supposed to call you then?" she asked, trembling when he reached up to move more of the fabric away.

He was shaking as well, but he wouldn't admit it. He had almost killed her that night, eight days ago. He had very nearly crushed her windpipe, though there appeared to be no permanent damage. He hadn't slept for days after that, ripping apart dozens of criminals each night until he simply couldn't stand anymore. He hating himself for losing such control of his emotions, and for almost killing the caretaker of the little one who he was now ready to admit was his heart and soul. The days he spent away from Lily out of pure ascetic hatred for himself had nearly destroyed him. "You know my name now. Trust you to use it wisely. Don't tell--"

"Anyone. I won't," she turned her eyes to his, sharing with him perhaps their first look at each other that connected them as human beings. She knew who he really was. She knew his name. Knew the ever shifting face that went with it, as well as the visage that she was looking at now, that she would later come to understand was his true mask, one of flesh and bone.

And he was trusting her with this information, with something he had given to no one else. His heart ached in a way that it never had before. He turned his eyes to Lily, snoozing away on the couch. "Sorry. For hurting you."

"It's alright," Madelyn lied, adjusting the turtleneck back to its former position. She looked to Lily also, then back to him. "Please, don't push her away. She loves you, Wal-- Rorschach." She bit the inside of her lip as she wanted his lips form a soft but terse smile.

"Is it really you?" Rorschach peered at her, his eyes narrowing, a silent request for clarification. "Are you really... Really him? Rorschach? Do you really, er, do all those things they say he does?"

"Do what needs to be done."

"But why? For what?"

"Look around, Maddie," he said, speaking her name for the first time that she could remember, meeting her eyes with his, looking at her, _really_ looking at her once again. "Can't stand by while the filth of the human race chokes out all that is left of the pure." He tilts his head slightly, almost apologetically when he sees her wince at his choice of words. "Do what needs to be done. You should too." He held her gaze until she looked away, and then moved away from her. He walked over to the sofa and leaned down to kiss Lily on the forehead. With one more glance to Madelyn, he left.


	5. Chapter 5

Daniel sighed as he trudged downstairs, wiping his glasses on his white cotton undershirt. Who the hell was banging on his door at this hour? He yawned and opened the door to the front of his flat to find... Nobody. He poked his head out and looked around, then heard the pounding again, coming from his kitchen. "Oh," he muttered. "Rorschach."

"Hello, Daniel," his former partner said to him as the door swung open. It was just like old times. What was new however, was the sleeping girl in his arms and the woman standing behind him. He had never seen these people before.

"Rorschach, what the-- Hello," he said to Madelyn, glancing from Rorschach to her and back again. "What's going on?"

"Apartment building burned down. Need a place to stay for the night," Rorschach replied, moving past him and into the flat, heading for the spare bedroom that Daniel kept upstairs.

"But... Wait! Rorschach, I--" Daniel turned to go after him, but he looked back to see a frightened Madelyn standing still in the doorway. He motioned politely for her to come in out cold hallway that connected his home and his workshop, and then went to find the masked man. He caught up to him in the upstairs corridor, looking back to Madelyn who was straggling a few feet behind. "Couldn't you have brought them through the front door? Instead of..." He was completely shocked that someone as seemingly private as Rorschach would bring a civilian through his _secret_ quarters. She must have seen Archie, the suit and everything. She knew who he was now.

"She wont tell, Daniel," was Rorschach's only reply as he continued to the guest bedroom. He had anticipated that Daniel would be worried over it, but Rorschach knew that if he could trust Madelyn with his own identity, as he had for the past several months, then Daniel's secret would not be a problem. Besides, Daniel wasn't active anymore. He simply moped around at home and grouched with Hollis Mason like a pair of old cripples about the war. He had quit. Rorschach felt himself frown a little. No, Daniel's identity would hardly be a problem with Maddie. Especially, not when compared to having just lost everything she owned.

Daniel threw his hands up in tired resignation, glancing at Madelyn as she approached him. "I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't know where he was bringing us. I swear, I wont tell anyone."

He sighed and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. "I can't believe this. I, er... Look, I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. I know this must be hard for you. Please... Make yourself at home. We'll... Jesus, it's 3:30. We'll deal with this in the morning."

"Thank you, so much. I'll pay you back, I swear." Madelyn looked on the verge of crying as the words escaped her lips, realizing that she probably wouldn't have any way of paying him back any time soon.

"You won't," Rorschach said as he appeared suddenly, startling both of them. "Put Lily down to sleep," he told Madelyn, glancing at Daniel, his eyes hidden behind his face. "Should rest," he continued, his voice directed to the trembling woman. He knew she probably wouldn't sleep that night, but he gave her the option anyway. "First door on right. Bathroom across the hall."

Daniel wrung his hands, blinking in amazement as Madelyn stepped forward and took Rorschach's fedora... blinking again when Rorschach didn't retaliate against such an invasion of his personal space. "You should rest too," Madelyn told Rorschach quietly. "And take a shower. You're covered in ash." Daniel didn't see any ashes on Rorschach, save for the black soot on his former partner's bare hands and now-gray undershirt. _Wait a_ _minute... Where are his gloves and suit anyway?_ He looked over Madelyn, noting the duffel bag in her hand._ What's going on here?_

Rorschach nodded slowly to Madelyn's words, his head dipped down slightly, standing there for a tired moment, having forgotten that Daniel was even there. He took a deep breath, slowing standing up to his full height, and looked at Daniel, removing his trench coat without preamble and approaching him. "3rd degree burns, Daniel," he pulled up his sleeve and showed him his shoulder where the skin was scorched and red. He wasn't letting Daniel off he hook just yet. "Need you to dress them. Can't reach. Have to call Veidt in the morning. Owes me a favor." His head tilted in Madelyn's direction, and she interpreted this slightest movement to be like a wink for him._ She_ was the favor that Veidt owed Rorschach. She blushed.

Daniel muttered something unintelligible, looking to Madelyn and then back to Rorschach, then: "Okay, then. Er... Why don't you go get washed up then and I'll, uhh, I'll put on some coffee."

Rorschach stared at him for a moment and then nodded, trudging to the bathroom.

---

Daniel dropped two cubes of sugar in his coffee and stirred, looking at Madelyn across the table from him. She was staring at the two wrappers on the table. "He must get them from you," she whispered softly.

"Excuse me?" Daniel asked politely, taking the two wrappers and throwing them into the garbage.

"The sugar cubes," she clarified, clearing her throat. "He's always eating them and giving them to Lily."

"Ahh. I don't know anymore. I haven't seen Rorschach in a few months. If he's been getting them from me... Huh, I guess I have been going through them faster than usual." His jaw set and he glared at the kitchen cabinet that he used to hold such condiments. "I'll be damned."

Madelyn laughed softly, the sound shattering dreary silence. Daniel found himself enjoying her laugh and smile immensely, his own emerging after he took a sip of coffee.

"Sorry that it's so strong. Rorschach likes it black," he told her, having a hard time swallowing it himself. Still, he didn't want to hear Rorschach complain about it. Not tonight.

"I know he does," Madelyn replied lightly, her giggles dying away. She stared at the table, a look of dazed amusement on her face. "Are you really the Nite Owl?" she asked raising her eyes to his. "I mean, I saw all the... Stuff, the equipment and suit and all that but... Are you really? I feel like this is such a dream. Like everything is so surreal. I've met two super heroes now and... It hardly seems like you two are anything more than ordinary men." She tilted her head and sighed, her own words catching up to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that as it sounds. I just--"

"No, it's okay. You're right. We're just ordinary people. All of us masks are. Just ordinary joes, running around in tights, trying to do the right thing. There's nothing super about us." Daniel smiled at her warmly, his eyes creasing. He liked her. He had been worried that she was some crazy homeless woman that had followed his friend home. Then again, what did it matter? Even if she was, she knew who he was now, so there was no point in hiding it. He enjoyed talking about his crime fighting days. "Would you have believed me if I had said I wasn't?"

She laughed again and he smiled. "Oh, I don't know. You'd have to be the greatest fanboy I've ever seen, though." She took a drink of her coffee, ignoring the stale, bitter taste. She was being silly. There was no reason not to believe that these men were who they said they were. After all, her closest and dearest friend _was_ the most revered crime fighter in the city. She _had_ seen Rorschach in action since she had discovered his identity. She'd seen news reports, and paper clippings. She could recognize him anywhere, no matter what he was wearing. Even the gaunt features of the swirling mask were recognizable to her. He had come to her a few times for help when he'd received cuts he couldn't reach to stitch, or broken ribs that he needed wrapped. She'd seen his scars and bruises. She'd seen those deep blue eyes, worn with time and tragedy. She knew who he was.

Madelyn looked up at Daniel who was spinning a sugar cube on the table, willingly partaking of their silence. He was definitely well-acquainted with Rorschach if such long silent pauses didn't bother him. She smiled to herself, trying to imagine him in the Nite Owl costume that she had glowered over so much when she was a younger woman. He seemed a bit to... bulky for it now, but he had that cleft in his chin, and those same full, pouty lips that she had-- She cleared her throat, looking up at the ceiling as the sounds of the shower ceased upstairs.

"Sounds like he's finished," Daniel muttered, standing and moving to hide his sugar cubes. "You, uhh, don't have to stay up for this if you don't want to. Burns take a while to dress. It's... Not pretty," he looked at her, his brows pursed with concern.

"I've stitched him up before," she told him and he looked surprised.

"No wonder he hasn't been here in a while. He's been coming to you for help." It stung a little but it was good to know that Rorschach had other friends besides himself and that he wasn't a lonely, raging sociopath like he had always suspected. Madelyn obviously knew Rorschach well and the little girl, Lily, he thought he had heard Rorschach call her, was young enough to be... His daughter. Daniel chewed on his lip, letting his mind get carried away, barely hearing rustling upstairs, the silence from the woman nearby. This talkative man had learned years ago that the best way to deal with awkward silences was to let his mind wander... So, maybe Lily was Rorschach's daughter, and this was his... Wife, girlfriend. Something.

Daniel turned to look at her. "How do you know him?" he asked suddenly, a bit more abruptly than he meant. Madelyn jumped at the sound of his voice, looking down to where the coffee had splashed on her ruined jeans. "Sorry, I--" He grabbed a towel and dabbed her knee with it. "I was just wondering how you knew him."

"He's my neighbor," Madelyn replied quietly. "I moved in almost a year ago." Daniel's mouth made an 'o' shape, but he said nothing more. "It took him a while to warm to us, as I'm sure you can imagine, but he's great with Lily."

"Really?" he asked, shooting her with an incredulous look.

"Yeah, I know, right?" She laughed softly, looking over her shoulder at Rorschach as he entered the room. She had been about to say more, but her words died away as she looked at him.

He had changed into some of Daniel's trousers. They were a bit big for him, but he had belted them around his small waist. The looked like they were swallowing him. He'd also taken a pair of socks, and held one of Daniel's shirts in his hands. He was bare from the waist up, save for the mask that was over his head. He looked rather amusing, like a young boy dressed in his father's too big clothes, the hem of the pantlegs bunching around his toes, the waistline bunched up beneath the belt. Rorschach looked between Madelyn and Daniel, questioning their sudden silence with a dose of his own. He crossed his arms and tilted his head before shooting his old friend a look.

Daniel knew that look. It was the look that said 'lets get this over with.' "Alright. To the workshop?" When Rorschach nodded, he looked to Madelyn and then started down the hall. He didn't stop her from following.

---

"So, you know Adrian Veidt?" Madelyn asked some time later, although it really should have been obvious at that point. Archie was parked nearby, as authentic as an owl ship could ever be. Daniel's Nite Owl suit was cased behind her, posed ominously like a phantom ready to strike. Madelyn fely like a little girl. She sat on the edge of the landing, her legs hanging over the side, her small body wrapped around one of the rail bars like a child waiting for recess to begin.

Daniel looked up and as he paused to wipe a bead of sweat from his brow. It wasn't tough work, scraping away the dead flesh of Rorschach's scorched arm. He had done it before, but it made his stomach turn a little bit, flinching nearly the entire time. Rorschach didn't make a sound.

"Yeah. We all go back quite a long ways. Me, Rorschach, Ozymandias, the Silk Spectre, Doctor Manhatten--"

"Ooh, what's he like?"

"Blue," Rorschach responded quickly, the same answer he had given her when she had asked him the first time months ago.

Daniel laughed. "Yes. Big, blue and--"

"Naked," he and Rorschach said in unison, exchanging a glance as their long-standing inside joke passed between them once again. Daniel laughed and Rorschach patted his friend on the arm. Their camaraderie was obvious and it made Madelyn smile sadly. The Keene act was possibly the worst thing that could have ever happened to them. She wondered if Daniel missed it.

She asked the two of them more about their crusading days and Daniel obliged, answering any and all of her questions. It wasn't often that he got to tell someone new about that secret part of his life, and Rorschach never stopped him, so he went full speed ahead. His answers were much more complete than what she had heard from Rorschach about his past, and as Daniel told his stories, Rorschach added in his own concise remarks and thoughts. It was more than she had ever gotten out of him before. Daniel brought out a part of Rorschach that she had never seen: pride in what and who he was. She loved Daniel instantly in that moment. He was a good person and she found herself grateful, yet again, for the hand Fate held dealt her the day she had confronted Rorschach on the playground.

Madelyn's eyes turned to him now. He was swinging his legs slowly as he sat on the bench, looking calm and relaxed, which seemed impossible in her mind. He'd taken no pain killers and Daniel was literally peeling off his flesh. He looked at her, the blots swirling slowly as they often did when he was was in thought. She smiled at him. She couldn't understand why he still had his face on. Surely Nite Owl, of all people, knew the face, or mask as he had insisted, beneath the white and black fabric. Surely they were close enough that they had shared each others' identities. But Rorschach's intense gaze was on her as he sat with his damaged arm resting on the shoulder of his oldest friend, and it dawned on her that she might be the only one. She _was_ the only one who knew him so completely.

Her stomach jumped when Rorschach spoke suddenly, roughly, his face turning to Daniel's. "Need to use the restroom, Daniel. Hurry up."

"Sorry, Rorschach. This might have gone faster if it weren't four in the morning," Daniel replied in turn, their good mood squashed. Madelyn watched with intrigue as Rorschach's shoulders slumped ever so slightly. She thought she had imagined it, that her fatigued mind was playing tricks on her, but when Daniel went out of his way to apologize to his friend, she knew that it wasn't her imagination. Rorschach was... Sulking? And Daniel was apologizing. She thought humorously that she should throw her shoe at Daniel. Why was he was apologizing? It was about time _somebody_ stood up to him.

"We're almost done, man." Daniel finished working in silence and Rorschach slid off of the bench when he finished, casting a look Madelyn's way before going upstairs.

She stood and helped Daniel clean, despite his insistence that she let him do it himself. She felt the need to comfort him, but she didn't know what to say. She knew what it was like, to feel unappreciated by their mutual friend, but most of the time she couldn't even justify the words to herself. How could she possibly convince Daniel of them?

As they moved back upstairs in silence, they heard Lily crying. Daniel shut the lights off as he followed Madelyn through the flat, up to the second floor to the guest bedroom. Lily had stopped crying by the time they reached the room, and Rorschach was sitting on the bed with the little one in his arms. She was curled into his chest, her thumb in her mouth, her eyes wide as she lifted her head to look at her aunt.

"I've got her," the masked man rasped. "Just scared." Daniel watched from the doorway as Madelyn sat beside him. He expected Lily to shift from Rorschach to Madelyn, preferring the embrace of the more familiar figure, but no such movement occurred. The woman had been right. Rorschach was good with Lily.

Madelyn leaned against Rorschach's shoulder, her eyes closing as her arm moved around to embrace Lily lightly. "Time to sleep. Look tired," Rorschach told Madelyn, tilting his chin to the crown her her head as he spoke. Daniel stepped back in the hallway, still watching as he slowly retreated toward his bedroom, unable to turn away just yet. He didn't think he could recall a time when he had ever seen Rorschach care so much. It was endearing, and he enjoyed a private smile at his friend's sincerity. He turned and walked to his own bedroom.

"Are you staying?" Madelyn asked Rorschach suddenly, her voice heavy with fatigue. He nodded. "Where?" When he didn't respond immediately, she tugged on his arm. "Stay in here with us. Please?" She didn't think she could be alone after all that had happened. The day's events were finally wearing her down as all the rest of it washed away.

Rorschach nodded again, consenting. He handed Lily off to her and stood, promising his return, before stepping into the hall toward Daniel's bedroom. "Taking my face off to sleep, Daniel. Don't come in."

Daniel turned around from where he stood at his dresser, putting back the clothes that Rorschach had pulled out of the drawers. "They've seen you?" his whispered, surprised.

"Knew my disguise before they knew my face."

Daniel scratched the back of his neck, thinking this over while his friend waited for his word. What did he mean? It was hard to differentiate between what Rorschach considered his face and his mask at times. He often referred to the ever-shifting fabric as his face and the skin beneath it as his real mask, but even after all these years, at four in the morning, it still threw Daniel for a loop. After all, _his _life as a costumed hero was completely separate from his life as Dan Dreiberg. For a while, he had foolishly assumed that perhaps Rorschach never took his mask off at all, though this was clear evidence to the contrary. Still, Rorschach's persona clearly pervaded his life. His neighbor, who knew his real face in some sense or the other still called him 'Rorschach.' Daniel must not have been to far off in his assumption. "Alright, sure. Whatever, man. Goodnight."

When Daniel turned around again, Rorschach advanced on him, pulling him around to face him, squeezing his wrist tight. "No, not 'whatever,' Daniel."

"Alright, alright. I won't come in. Okay?"

Rorschach grunted and let him go, staring at him for a moment and then turning to leave. Daniel sighed and rubbed his eyes, leaving his clothes to be folded again in the morning, and falling into his bed.

Once inside the guest room, Rorschach closed the door behind him and wedged a chair beneath the handle before peeling off his face. He ran his hands through his damp red hair, turning to find Madelyn and Lily already laying down. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over his knees, propped up on his elbows as he his rubbed his face, sighing.

Madelyn stirred and sat up, putting her hand on his back, rubbing between his shoulder blades. His breathing stilled for a moment, but he didn't move away from her touch. He was used to little affections from Lily, but was still growing accustomed to them from Madelyn. It frightened him sometimes how much he wanted to touch her, as well as how much he wanted her to touch him, even just to brush against her. It made his stomach turn, made him feel sick, to think that he could crave her closeness when he had crushed other womens' hands before for simply tapping him on the arm. It wasn't right. None of it was. But then, Madelyn wasn't his mother. She wasn't touching him to hurt him. She was trying to comfort him now. That was acceptable wasn't it? Did that make it okay? He swallowed the lump in his throat, tilting his head slightly to acknowledge her, not bringing his eyes to hers.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, barely holding it together herself. She watched the rise and fall of her hand on his back, moving with his steady breathing. It calmed her, strengthened her against what was to come, the unknown. She moved to sit with him on the edge of the bed and leaned against him, looping her arm through his.

"Fine."

"You're always 'fine.' You're not 'fine,' Rorschach." She turned to look at him, trying to get him to look back at her. He did not. "Let me in there." Her voice shook, needing this. Needing him to let her know that he was human. That he hurt like she did. That all this affected him some how. That he cared.

Rorschach's head fell and he closed his eyes. She saw it again. That slump. That sulking that he had displayed down in the workshop. It was a start, but it wasn't enough.

Madelyn's breath hitched and Rorschach sighed. He was too tired to be strong anymore. He didn't have it in him anymore. Not tonight. He didn't need to save the world tonight. He had already failed. "Almost too late," he whispered finally, his voice sounding foreign to his ears. "Almost too late to save you. Lagging behind. Should have prevented the fire. Should have been there. Done something different." He paused, letting his self-blame sink in, not realizing that he actually felt that way until he spoke it. He took a long deep breath, forcing himself to change the subject, to bury down his immediate feelings of guilt and regret. That was what he did best. "You lost everything."

"So did you." Madelyn whispered. She was hanging on his every word. His every flinch. The way the skin around his eyes creased when he felt. The way the corners if his mouth frowned. The way the blue of his eyes were searching her for some hidden meaning as well, even when he didn't look at her directly. She considered reaching up to turn his chin, to make him look at her, but she could feel him grip the edge of the mattress with crushing strength. She didn't want that grip on her wrist. So she waited, hanging by a thread, with bated breath, for whatever he said next.

"Didn't lose you." He choked on the words, finally looking at her with that now familiar gaze that she had learned to read so well. Rorschach's true gaze, the one that spoke the truth, unabashedly, whole-heartedly, lovingly even, all in spite of himself. She broke.

He marvelled in her frightened brown eyes. It stole away all the air in his lungs. He remembered those eyes. The ones that had pleaded with him, begged him to let her live as his hands nearly choked the life out of her. He watched as they filled with tears, and he looked away, to the door, at his face on the chair cushion. He considered leaving suddenly. Escaping from a situation he knew he would quickly lose control of. He'd never seen Madelyn cry, but in the glimpse he had just taken, he knew it wasn't something he could handle. He started to stand but Madelyn had her hands on his arms, his shoulders, his sides, moving him, embracing him, and crying against his bare chest, knocking the wind out of him with the force of her body and her emotion. He sat still, almost in shock.

Madelyn sobbed, smearing tears against his skin as she finally fell apart. She cried about the fire. About how they might have died if he hadn't rescued them. How the fire wasn't Rorschach's fault. How she missed her brother, Ben. About how tragic his death had been. About deja vu. And poor Lily, living through another fire. Losing everything. "Put your arms around me, Rorschach," she demanded angrily, sputtering through tears, and he complied, holding her for the first time in his recollection, holding her tightly, afraid of what might happen if he let her go. It felt right. It didn't make it any easier to forgive himself for letting this happen, didn't ease the guilt he was still fighting down, but it was a small consolation.

They sat there like that for nearly twenty minutes as Madelyn unloaded all of her emotional baggage in one whopping go. Rorschach laid her back on the bed when he felt her growing tired and then moved to sit himself up. She clutched his sides, not willing to let him go, terrified he might leave her. He took her hand and held onto it as he moved further from the bed, reaching for the shirt he'd taken from Daniel's closet. He kept the contact while he put it on, alternating hands, giving her the comfort of his touch as he crawled back onto the bed, under the sheets with she and the sleeping Lily, and held her close. She cried until she fell asleep. Rorschach never slept that night.


	6. Chapter 6

Laurie reached for her coffee and took small sip of it. Dan had fixed it just the way she liked. No milk, two sugars. 'Black as the Devil and sweet as a stolen kiss.' Laurie smiled. Peering over to the door that led down into Dan's Owl's nest, she listened for any sounds of movement. He had been down there for some time, tinkering with things. She had offered to helping him, but he had politely requested that she leave him alone for a little while.

She suspected it had something to do with Rorschach's recent arrest, if the mountain of journals and newspapers were any indication. She sighed softly as she perused an article for the third time. Dan had gone out and bought everything he could on his former partner's arrest. Just as interesting was the similar but smaller assortment of papers on Veidt's assassination attempt and Jon's departure from Earth. There was nothing about the Comedian save for a clipping of Edward Morgan Blake's obituary clipping stuck to the fridge. Maybe Dan just liked to keep tabs on his friends. Or maybe he was taking Rorschach's mask killer theory a bit too seriously. Though, with three of them disposed of in little more than a week's time and one attempted murder, she wondered if maybe she ought to take it more seriously herself. She snorted and shook her head, taking another drink. _Don't be ridiculous. Rorschach is nuts._ One thing _was_ for certain, though... Dan sure was acting funny lately.

The doorbell rang and Laurie glanced up. "I'll get it," she called out, waiting for a response from her host, listening for even a faint reply as she stood and walked to the door. If Dan had heard her, he gave no hint of it.

She opened the door to find a woman, perhaps a bit older than she, sniffling and rubbing her bloodshot eyes. Laurie looked her over, her lips slightly parted by words lost in the wind. She wore a hooded sweatshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Her long blond hair was slightly disheveled, as if she hadn't brushed it since rolling out of bed. Her day-old mascara was running away from where the tears fell from pale brown eyes. She had her fists balled up and hidden within the sleeves of her sweatshirt, one of those fists reaching up to swipe away a stray tear on her cheek, the other clutched a leather bound book to her breast. Her lips quirked when she saw Laurie and her eyes shone with recognition. "Hello, Miss Jupiter."

Laurie started. Her identity was by no means a secret, but the way that this woman, who she had never met before, looked at her as if they were the oldest of acquaintances... Well, it creeped her out to be quite frank. She had seen that look before, found it quite often in the eyes of the men who used to lurk around her home for just a glimpse of her mother, who sometimes ogled her on the street. She took a step back, ready to slam the door in the woman's face if she came any closer.

But she didn't move, seeming to anticipate this gesture. She merely stood there, her hand trembling as it emerged from her wrinkled sleeve to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is Daniel home?" she asked, her voice faltering slightly.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Laurie asked slowly, enunciating her words, peering at her, as if squinting would help her discern the answer.

"Can I see Dan, please?" the woman asked again, a bit bolder this time, taking a step forward. One more step and she would be inside the flat she had called home for a short time. She probably knew it better than the condescending twat standing in front of her. She pressed a smile onto her face when Laurie nodded finally and allowed her in.

"Dan! Company!" There was no response and Laurie started down the hall, frustrated. She paused and looked back to the stranger, wary of leaving her alone there or of leading her to the kitchen where the door to Dan's secret basement stood wide open. She stopped in the kitchen doorway and called again. "Dan!"

"What, is he in the workshop?" the woman's voice sounded as she breezed by her. Before Laurie could stop her, or even think about what had occurred, the strange woman she had let into the house was now disappearing down that very hallway she had hoped to conceal. "Daniel?"

Dan rolled himself out from underneath Archie with an exasperated sigh. Didn't Laurie understand that he needed some alone time? He had a lot on his mind and he needed the comfort of his dripping pipes and Archie's soft hum, and less of her constant chatter. He liked having her around, truly enjoyed her company but... "Laurie, I just, er--" He blinked as he sat up, watching as the two familiar faces emerged from the upstairs. "Madelyn?" He was on his feet in an instant and she was yanking her arm out of a frustrated Laurie's grasp.

The tears flowed freely and Madelyn collided with Dan's chest, sobbing into his grease covered undershirt. "They're gonna kill him, Dan. He's gonna die in there!" She sputtered through her tears, shuddering against his tight embrace. "They're gonna kill him and--and--"

Dan shushed her and brushed his fingers through her tangled hair. He looked up at Laurie, who stared on in confusion. He held her gaze for a moment, one that asked her to politely leave, but she didn't seem to take the hint... Or if she did, she ignored it.

---

Some time later, the three of them sat around Dan's small kitchen table. It was just like old times, sitting around, a cup of warmth to sooth her quaking hands. Madelyn had stopped crying hours ago, but she still shook.

"And, er... That's the last time I saw him... When Jon left. Before that," Dan stopped and pondered that for a moment. "Well, he broke in a few days before that, but, other than those two times, I hadn't seen him since he first brought you here. Hell, that was what? Er, back in, um, '79? '80? Oh, yeah, that's right. It _was _'80. It was _hot_ that summer, remember?"

Laurie couldn't believe they were _still_ talking about Rorschach. Honestly, who cared? He was a deranged psychopath who-- She groaned mentally when Madelyn turned to look at her expectantly. She had nothing to add. Nothing pleasant, anyway, and as much as their line of conversation annoyed and bored her, she felt bad enough that one of Dan's friends was so torn up over something so insignificant. Also, she honestly hadn't thought Dan had many other friends besides she and Hollis Mason. She was intrigued, so she offered her silent condolences through her presence, to a friend of masks, if there was such a thing these days.

"Does Lily know?" Dan asked, watching the tense stares the two women exchanged. It made him smile softly. Rorschach obviously had made some impression on Maddie over Laurie's 'questionable character,' and although Dan didn't agree with it, although he hated Rorschach's sometimes sexist views, it was sure to make for an amusing evening.

Madelyn turned her gaze back to his, and then looked down to the coffee cup in her hands, bringing it to her lips for a sip as she nodded slowly. "She's how I found out, actually. I don't watch the news anymore. I'm so tired of hearing about the Soviets. I get enough of it at work. Ugh, and to think, I went four days not knowing, _four days_ and Adrian didn't say anything!"

"Adrian Veidt?" Laurie stopped her, perking a brow at her nod. "Wait, you know Veidt too?" Laurie crossed her legs, her interest piqued. Finally.

"Yes, I work in his office," Madelyn told her offhandedly, turning back to Dan to continue...

"Is that how you know everyone?" Laurie interrupted again.

"No," Madelyn replied, her head whipping to the side to look at Laurie, her lips pressed to a fine line. "I know _everyone_ through Rorschach. I'm friends with _his_ friends."

Laurie blinked, feeling as if she had been smacked across the face by this odd woman's attitude personified. It reminded her of someone... Someone she _wasn't_ friends with, but apparently who everyone else _was. Well, excuse me! _She couldn't believe that this conversation was taking such an immature undertone. She crossed her arms and waited, waited until Madelyn turned back to Dan before muttering, though quite clearly with the intention of being heard, "I didn't realize that smelly maggot _had_ friends."

"That's _enough_!" Dan interjected before Madelyn could throw the next proverbial punch. He was sure Maddie could hold her own and as much as he wanted to hear what she had lined up to spit at Laurie... As much as he wanted to see the cat fight that would surely ensue... Well, _he_ was friends with 'that smelly maggot,' and he was friends with both Madelyn and Laurie too. He shot a threatening look, or at least as threatening a look as a man like Dan Dreiberg could shoot, to both women, warning them. He stopped their quarrel before it began.

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments and then Madelyn resumed the friendly conversation as if nothing had happened. Laurie got up and went for a smoke.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I got a call at the office yesterday right as I got in and it was Lily's principal. Apparently during social studies, they talked about Rorschach and..." Madelyn paused, trying to collect herself. She had already cried plenty. She was exhausted, her entire body fatigued from weeping all through the night. "I guess during recess, some of the boys were talking about what he'd done. And Lily called them liars. Got in their faces. Told them it wasn't true. She hit one of them." Her voice cracked between a laugh and a sob. "Who does that sound like?"

Dan brushed her arm softly, looking up as Laurie came back in, a lit cigarette between her lips. She stood in the doorway, gazing down sadly at the back of Madelyn's shoulders.

"And I had to go in and," Madelyn regained control of her voice as she heard Laurie rejoin them, wiping her cheeks. "And meet with Lily and her principal. I had to take her out the rest of the day. She was so upset. Of course, Veidt let her have one of those goddamn action figures of Rorschach. I wanted to smack him for being so insensitive. God, Daniel, what if he dies? What if he dies and all I've got to remember him by is a little plastic toy with Veidt's initials stamped into his ass?"

Dan leaned forward and hugged her. "He'll be fine."

"Don't say that," Maddie snapped suddenly, her eyes cold. "Don't lie, Dan. You've never been any good at it."

Dan's face blanched and he struggled to swallow around the lump in his throat. _Gee, that sounds like something he'd say. _He looked at Laurie, who looked amused. Distracted but amused. "Well," he muttered, resigned to the unhappy truth. "He'll give them a run for their money... That's for damn sure."

Madelyn smiled sadly and nodded, satisfied with this answer. "He'll give 'em hell."


	7. Chapter 7

_Rorschach's Journal. March 24th, 1980._

_Haven't written in a few days. Haven't written in this journal at all, obviously. First entry. Madelyn gave me this for my birthday. Turned 40 a couple days ago. Must have told her my birthday a while back. Wasn't planning on celebrating. Forgot about it til she gave me this, actually. It's nice. Leather. Almost feel guilty writing in it. Don't need to. My other one was only a quarter of way full. Had another in kitchen drawer waiting to be used._

_Writing idly. Can't go outside tonight. Doctor Maddie's orders. It's been a cold spring so far. Water heater in the building burst. Cold water got Lily sick. She got Madelyn sick. I got it too. "No masks tonight," she said. Told her she'd be disappointed. Stayed anyway. Said it again today. Have to stay in. Lily's got me pinned to couch like she'll never let me up again. Body aches and she's heavy, sitting on my shins. Have pain in my cheeks and forehead too. Can't decide if it's the woman's perfume or just sinus pressure. Would make sense. Have runny nose as well. I can't recall ever being this sick._

_Thought about going to Daniel's yesterday. Haven't visited him in a few months. See him on the streets every so often, followed him home from Mason's couple of times. Hasn't changed much. Looks the same, though somewhat fatter. Not as concerned with own self image as he used to be. Perhaps that's a good thing._

_Madelyn doesn't stitch up cuts as well as Daniel does. Suppose he's had more practice. __Her hands shake when she sews me up. __Trying to teach her her to do it better. To stay calm under pressure. Attempted to scare her a couple of times, __only to calm her again.__ Jumped out at her. Caught her in the dark. Rather amusing. Hit me for it once. Punched my shoulder. Have been trying teaching her better self defense too. Thought I was just joking with her though. Have stitches on calf now. They itch. Was a cut from criminal I thought was out. Tried to stab me but mostly missed. Looked worse than actually was. Maddie threw up when I told her needed her to give me stitches. only second time she's done it. Interesting since she insisted on helping me first time she saw me. Guess she expected more. Or less. She'll get better though. Better than having to visit Daniel. She doesn't fuss as much, just tries to get it over with. Doesn't ask personal questions. Doesn't say much of anything except that she's sorry. Don't know what she's sorry about.  
_

_Trying to put more trust in her. Seems to trust me more all the time. Left me alone now in apartment with niece while going to the store. Made me sleep over last night on couch. Doesn't want me sleeping in drafty flat. Been showing my true face more. She knows both my face and mask very well now. Entertaining to watch her watch me. Does it often. Let her look at my face. Let her touch it. She likes the fabric. Don't usually think about it that way. Doesn't snag very often. Only have to fix hole at top every so often. Lily took my face once and put it on herself. She smiled big and it moved with her smile. Wonder if it does same to me. Haven't looked at myself in the mirror with face on enough to know. Don't smile enough anyway. Madelyn says my face moves like a dance of expressions and emotions. Didn't think I emoted much. Blushed when she said it. Wonder what pattern it made then.  
_  
_Lily trusts me completely. Has faith in everything I do. Everything I say. Wish she would never have to break faith. Wish she could be innocent forever. Life doesn't work like that. Too much perversion. Human nature is too mutated, deformed into sickening ideal like Picasso painting. Grand masterpiece of twisted flesh, gnarled teeth. Called beautiful by blind eyes. Eyes shaded by lust, drugs and filthy tainted immorality._

Rorschach paused and read over what he had written. His words were making less and less sense to his throbbing head. The line between what he was writing and the images that were racing though his tired mind were blending horribly. He put a hand to his brow, massaging his temple, frowning as his skin felt warm to his touch.

He looked over at Lily, sitting on his legs, propping her bear on his knee as she played. He grunted and smiled, sitting up slowly and hunching over the little girl, watching her. She must be bored, her guest having been to tired to play with her for the last few days. She looked tired herself. It was getting late in the afternoon, and as far as he could tell, she hadn't napped yet.

"Need to use my legs," he told her, chuckling lightly as she stared up at him and then looked down at those legs he spoke up. Apparently she was sitting on them and hadn't realized. She looked back up at him, as if she were unsure of what she wanted him to do, her bottom lip pouting a little. "Feeling okay?"

"Uh huh," she lied, rubbing her little fist into her eye. She needed a nap.

"Still feeling sick?" He smiled as she shook her head, her pigtails flopping to and fro. "Need to use my legs, Lulu. Have to go to restroom." He pulled her into his arms and picked her up as he stood, unsteady on his tingling legs. He put her back down on the couch and watched her sprawl out in the warmth he had left behind. He made his way across Madelyn's flat and into her bathroom.

He winced as he switched on the lights. Why was it that bathroom lights were always so much brighter than any others? He leaned against the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible, but better than he did yesterday. He had bags under his eyes, his nose red, his skin pale and sickly. Still, his cheeks were shaven, his hair freshly cut, his hands clean. He smirked as he splashed cool water onto his feverish face, rubbing his eyes and sighing. Madelyn had harassed him all the way into the bath that morning, threatening to stand outside the door until she heard him turn the shower on. Now his hair smelled like flowers and his skin like pine needle soap. He dried his face off with the towel he had left on Madelyn's bathroom floor and trudged over to the toilet.

When he finished relieving himself, and after taking the time to blow his nose, he came back out to the living room. Lily was asleep, thumb in her mouth, teddy bear loosely clutched in her other hand. She had repositioned and had fallen asleep, her little body curled up like a cat _on top _of his pillow in the middle of his couch-made-bed. He nearly laughed, but he refrained out of fear of waking her.

He sat down on the floor, leaning back against the couch. He picked up his journal again and read over what he had written, sketching his symbol onto the page, the two symmetrical r's, the corresponding dots in sharp contrast with the crisp white pages. He tense slightly as he felt a small arm go around his neck and a tiny pointed chin move onto his shoulder. He quickly relaxed, leaning his head gently against hers.

"Woschach?"

He hurmed in reply.

"When's Aunt Maddie coming home?"

Rorschach stopped doodling for a moment and looked up to the clock. Madelyn had gone to get them some food, tired of serving soup day after day. It was cheap and bland, but he didn't mind. He wasn't terribly picky about food. The trouble was, however, that she had been gone for almost an hour and a half. He sneezed into his hand suddenly, wiping his nose with his wrist.

"Any minute," he told Lily softly, picking up her bear from the floor as she dropped it. He brought the bear's nose to Lily's own and made a soft kissing sound, a gesture he had seen Madelyn make numerous times, but one that made him feel like a fool. He liked it. Lily giggled and rolled over, away from him, snuggling into her bear and closing her eyes once more as she yawned.

Rorschach looked back up to the clock, frowning. Where _was_ Madelyn? Turned back to his journal and finished his sketch. He twirled the pencil in his fingers as he considered what to write next, chewing on the inside of his lip as he began.  
_  
Been reading old journals in spare time. I'm surprised. __Entries from the past are surprisingly bitter. Seem happier these days. Or more complacent at very least. Strange to reflect on it but that I can make that distinction speaks for itself. Realized in reading that I don't write about Madelyn and Lily much despite fact that they are large part of my life now. Maybe use this journal to write about them. Keep other journals for other things.  
_

He hurmed for a moment, contemplating the idea of keeping a personal journal separate from a 'work' journal. Was it really worth it, to make an effort to separate what little personal life he had from the rest of it, and all amongst a few sheets of notebook paper? Did it really matter? Nobody read these but himself. Still, it bothered him to consider that if he had been writing this in his regular journal, the entry before would have described the murder of a rapist from several days ago. Before that, a brief recount of the Blair Roche incident. It was a disgrace to merge the two as if they were of equal substance even if they were of equal importance to him. He sighed, his head hurting. He would think more on it later. He continued to write.

_Spending more time with Lily lately. Madelyn's company is more tolerable as well. Enjoyable even. Strange, to consider her this way. Can't imagine having felt any different than I do now. She's a good friend. Good mother to Lily too, even if only her aunt. Told me once she had been in college. Had to drop out when her brother died. He left Lily to her. No other family members. Just her. She has a lot of debt now. Too much debt and can't seem to keep a job, so they're living in this dump. It's hard to keep a family going like that. Would imagine she'd feel resentment. If she does, doesn't show it. She loves Lily. Loved her brother as well. Says my mask looks like him. Red hair. Have blue eyes through. Said he had green eyes like Lulu. She called me 'Daddy' once. Hated having to correct her. Wouldn't mind her being daughter. _

He almost wrote that he wouldn't mind having a family. _This_ family. He almost wrote that he wished he could offer them more. That he wished he was better for them. But then again, what did he know about _any_ of that? He had never had a family to speak of, save for Daniel and that joke, the Crimebusters. But no, that was rather like a cheap one night stand than the family Daniel had referred to them as. Family didn't give up on each other. Family didn't let its members fall into madness and despair. Family didn't let each other die. Rorschach had given up on them before they had even begun. All of them. The word tasted sour in his mouth. _Family._

He looked over his shoulder at Lily's small form, turned away from him, breathing heavily in sleep. His hard heart melted. He _did_ want this family. He wanted to opportunity to do this right but... Would he have make a good father? If he were anything but what he was, could he give Lily the life she needed? He certainly couldn't now. He turned back around and looked down, frowning. He wrote, his words disjointed from what he had written above.

_No. Need to stop doubting. Will never be anything more than what I am. Can give nothing. Can do nothing but what I'm doing. Can protect them. Can work hard to clean up the evil sludge that drags them and other good people down to their knees. Can purge the sick and diseased of the world so that maybe life will be a little better for her. For them. Can't hope for more for myself. Not about me. None of this it. It never has been about me. Never will be._

_Madelyn is a good person. I hope Lily grows up to be a good woman like her. She tries to live honest, respectable life even though it's hard. Too hard sometimes. Glad she is the way she is. Could have sold herself for money like my mother. Could have done drugs, beat Lily. Drowned her in bathtub. Cut her up and thrown to dogs._

"Ennk..." he growled, crossing those last three lines out, pressing the tip of his pencil until it wore the paper. It was unreadable now. He closed the heavy leather bound journal and tossed it away, dissatisfied and angry with himself.

He walked to the window and opened it, sitting down on the sill. It was raining outside. He enjoyed the breeze, the cool rain drops. He took a deep breath and allowing the air to clear his negative thoughts and the sprinkles of water soothing his burning flesh. He peered out, listening to the thunder that shook the skies, the tinks and tonks of ran pounding on the fire escape. He wanted to go out and stand in it, let it cleanse him and erase his doubts and fears. He was doing the right thing. What he did mattered, even if he was the only one who did it anymore. _Especially _because he was the only one that did it anymore. He sighed deeply, the air aching in his lungs as he took another deep breath, his eyes slipping shut.

"What do you think you're doing, Mister?"

Rorschach started, jolting to his feet. Madelyn soon in the doorway, soaked from head to toe, pushing the door open. She offered him an apology for startling him and then grumbled at the lock, finally yanking her key out of the door handle. He didn't know why she had even bothered to lock it. She knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen.

"Shut that window. It's freezing rain out there and you're sick." She passed by the sofa and held the paper bag close to her as she leaned down to kiss her sleeping niece.

"Needed some air. Didn't want to leave Lily alone." He stood and closed the window, walking to where she placed the groceries on the counter. "Were gone a long time."

Madelyn looked up at him, a slight smile on her face as her dark eyes might his brighter ones. "Yeah, well there was a shoplifting incident at the store. Police took forever and there was only one clerk checking people out. You weren't out patrolling the streets, so all hell broke loose." She moved to put the milk in the fridge, her smile growing as she turned away from him.

Rorschach frowned. He didn't like it when she teased him. He wasn't as well versed at articulating snappy comebacks as she was. He crossed his arms as he sat at the kitchen table. "Not too late. Can go get face, reign hell back in again," he snarked back after a moment, though his voice was so low that Madelyn didn't catch the sarcastic lilt. There was no way he was going out tonight. His body was heavy and slow, and his face felt broken, so bad was his headache. Going out at this point, especially given the rain, was like a death wish.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Rorschach. You're not going to get out of here that easily. You're staying put." Madelyn gave him that authoritative look that reminded him of his old headmaster, a woman who he had particularly disliked as a young man. But then Maddie winked at him and he looked away, slightly flustered and embarrassed.

She chuckled softly and walked toward him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Besides, I need you to help me tonight anyway. Can you cook these?" She handed him a bag of noodles. He looked up at her, nodded and stood. "Just boil some water and throw them in, okay? We're going to have spaghetti tonight and I need to give Lily a bath before dinner."

"Noooo!" Lily cried, apparently awake now, peering over the top of the couch. Both Madelyn and Rorschach looked over at her. Madelyn put her hands on her hips, suddenly breaking out in a run, chasing the squealing girl into the bedroom while Rorschach shuffled to the stove.

He enjoyed himself a smile, looking up as he heard the two laughing in the bedroom. He heard a muffled, 'Woschach, save me!' followed by a growled, 'nothing can save you now!' Perhaps he couldn't provide them with the perfect life or the things they needed, but he could try and give them what he was able. His protection. His care. His trust. And maybe... just maybe, he could try not to ruin the noodles tonight.


End file.
